


10 ways to say 'I love you'

by crayyyonn



Series: Soulmate verse [3]
Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-21
Updated: 2019-02-19
Packaged: 2019-05-09 16:17:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 12,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14719460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crayyyonn/pseuds/crayyyonn
Summary: Ten ways Jaebum and Yugyeom say 'I love you' to each other.





	1. I saved you a slice

**Author's Note:**

> drabbles set in the Achromatic verse bc it’s my favorite out of everything i’ve ever written and there’s story left to tell. prompts are from [here](http://p0ck3tf0x.tumblr.com/post/98502010026/one-hundred-ways-to-say-i-love-you). i used a random number generator to pick ten. i might allude to plot points from achromatic and falling, but it's not critical to have read those i don't think :)

Yugyeom didn’t mean for dance club to overrun. But he’s deep in the middle of choreography and before he realizes it, the time has flown by and he’s officially more than fashionably late. He’s also in desperate need of a shower, but with his phone dead, he decides against it. Instead, he changes his t-shirt, sprays on a liberal amount of deodorant, and hopes for the best as he plugs it into his portable charger. At least he had the foresight to get the flowers in the free half an hour he had between his last lecture and club.

He’s on the cab when his phone chimes softly, screen lighting up. Sending up a prayer of thanks, he waits impatiently for it to power on completely before immediately opening up Kakao. He ignores the messages from his friends, opening up his chat with Jaebum.

_be there soon hyung, sorry!_

He switches to the chat with Jackson, sending a string of apologetic stickers in reply to the _where r u????_ , and a _cab now_ , as he waits for a response. It doesn’t come. He gives it another minute before asking, _hyung?_

_i’m really sorry but practice ran late!_

_and my phone died_

_hyung_

_hyunggggg_

_are you ignoring me_

_ㅠㅠㅠㅠ_

He debates calling before deciding against it. Tapping on Jackson’s chat again, he asks, _hyung, is jaebum hyung very mad_

The reply is instantaneous.

_ur late for his birthday party, what do u think_

Well, fuck.

 

He hears the music the minute he gets out of the elevator. It’s not out of place for a Friday evening, given that most of the tenants on the floor are university-aged or young adults with a penchant for TGIF house parties. Heading down the familiar hall towards Jinyoung and Jaebum’s shared apartment, he enters the code on the lock and lets himself in, haphazardly toeing his shoes off. He’s looking for his slippers when a head peeks around the wall separating the entryway and the living room. Yugyeom recognizes him. He’s Jaebum’s friend from university, a guitarist in a local band who’s originally from Busan.

He’s also unnecessarily touchy with Jaebum, who despite his aversion to skinship, allows it. Yugyeom doesn’t like him.

“You the imaginary boyfriend?” he asks, grin sloppy and taking up half his face. “Ooh, flowers. Smart. Always works whenever I’m in trouble with my girl.”

“Not so imaginary,” Yugyeom quips. So Jaebum really _is_ mad. He’s in for it now.

Pushing past the guy, who’s clearly had more than enough to drink, the way he’s lowering himself to sit against the wall, he looks about for Jaebum. The apartment is crowded with well-wishers, some Yugyeom recognizes, most he doesn’t. He’s handed a drink halfway through his search, something that’s a terrifyingly bright neon pink he’s glad Jaebum cannot see.

Not that he should have worried about it, because when he finally finds his elusive, unresponsive boyfriend in the kitchen, which is thankfully quieter than the rest of the apartment, he’s draining his own plastic cup, throwing his head back to get every last drop. Yugyeom can’t help but stare at the arch of his neck, the bob of his adam’s apple, and swallows reflexively. God, Jaebum is hot. When did Yugyeom get so lucky?

He’s also not sober, is what Yugyeom discovers when he gets closer, taking in the flushed cheeks and relaxed posture as he leans against the kitchen counter. Jaebum’s gaze, when it lands on him, stays hazy, curve of his eyes belying his happiness at seeing Yugyeom even as he tries to pout.

“You’re late,” he slurs reproachfully, reaching out to wind his arms around Yugyeom’s neck and draping himself over him. Yugyeom stumbles a little at the sudden weight before finding his footing, squirms when Jaebum burrows his face against collarbone. “Y’smell nice.”

“I’m sorry, practice ran over,” he says, sheepish, “I also need a shower.” Because despite Jaebum’s weird obsession with what he’s taken to calling his  _spring scent_ , he has got to reek. “I see you got started without me anyway. How much did you drink hyung?”

“It’s my birthday,” comes the bratty reply, mumbled against his t-shirt. It makes Yugyeom grin. “I do what I want.”

Placing the flowers on the counter to better wrap his arms around Jaebum’s waist, Yugyeom shakes his head. “If what you want is to feel like shit tomorrow, sure. Also your birthday was on Wednesday,” he counters.

Jaebum waves a sloppy, dismissive hand. “Every day is a birthday.”

The nod he punctuates the declaration with is a determined thing, and so adorable Yugyeom can’t help but laugh. Pulling him closer, he ducks down to give him a quick peck on the lips.  

“If that means I get cake I guess it’s not a bad thing.”

Jaebum shakes his head. “We’ve already cut the cake. And eaten it.” He giggles at Yugyeom’s overly dramatic gasp. “No cake for you.”

“Aw, no.”

Feigning disappointment, he pouts for effect. It disappears quickly though, because Jaebum is sweetly running a hand through his hair and making comforting noises. The older man is always extra affectionate when drunk and Yugyeom, although he really shouldn’t, absolutely revels in it.

He tightens his hold, pressing a kiss to Jaebum’s hair when the older man settles more fully into the embrace. They’re swaying to the music, a slow, familiar R&B tune, but it’s almost an afterthought. He loves being like this with Jaebum, close, quiet, just the two of them. The dulcet sounds of Jaebum humming the melody under his breath mutes the spring refrain that’s taken up permanent place in Yugyeom’s head, banishes the creeping insecurities that’s been cropping up more and more these days. While they have been dating for a while now, knowing for a fact that they’re not soulmates makes Yugyeom antsy. At least moments like these, with Jaebum solid and present in his arms, makes Yugyeom feel less like what they’re doing is an exercise in futility.

They stay like that until the song ends. Then the noise from the rest of the apartment filters in and Jaebum is pulling away. Yugyeom immediately misses his warmth but the dopey grin that takes up home in Jaebum’s face makes up for it.

“I’ll tell you a secret.”

“Sure hyung.” He leans in when Jaebum beckons him closer, scrunching his nose as if mulling over the words before giving them voice.

“I lied, I saved you some cake,” he finally says, peering impishly up at Yugyeom through his lashes.

Yugyeom’s pretty sure his grin is splitting his face in half. He can feel it. “Yeah?”

Jaebum nods, then adds, beaming like he’s eager for praise, “And I got you a chocolate shake too.”

“Aw hyung, you do love me after all.”

“Of course,” Jaebum replies.

And the way he sounds so certain and sure, Yugyeom wonders how he’s ever doubted it for a moment.


	2. Take my jacket it's cold outside

Their first fight after moving in together is less a fight and more a disagreement over how to place their shoes in the entryway.

Yugyeom toes them off and leaves them as they are, Jaebum is a proponent of picking them up and turning them so they’re facing outward, toward the door. It’s the first time Yugyeom truly understands the phrase ‘there are two kinds of people’, but doesn’t make much of it. It’s no hardship to kick his shoes so they’re facing the right (according to Jaebum) way after taking them off, after all. And on days he forgets, Jaebum just grumbles and does it for him. Win win.

 

Their second fight is more memorable. Still stupid, because it’s about Bambam, of all people, but memorable all the same. So he spends a lot of time with him, just the two of them, Jaebum pointedly not invited. But who else is Yugyeom going to bitch about Jaebum with, if not his best friend?

Besides, the older man had been happy enough to send Yugyeom off in the beginning. He barely said anything when Yugyeom had to cancel their date when Bambam had a relationship crisis—both the first and second times. It was just dinner anyway, not for any special occasion. Plus they live together, and see each other all the time. Jaebum himself had said it’s fine, he was due a hangout with Jackson and Jinyoung just like old times, or Youngjae, the new music teacher who’s just transferred to the school.

If Yugyeom feels uncomfortable about Jaebum being alone with Youngjae, _really cute, talented, an amazing singer_ Youngjae, Jaebum’s voice trills in his head, that’s his cross to bear.

Except there’s this moue Jaebum starts making, paired with short, clipped responses whenever Yugyeom even breathes Bambam’s name. That’s when it strikes Yugyeom, so clear and obvious he’s not sure how he didn’t see it before.

“Hyung, are you jealous? Of Bambam?” he asks, voice pitched high in incredulity because it’s _Bambam_. Of all people!

Jaebum shifts, making the couch squeak. Picking at his jeans, he shrugs and says, “You’ve been spending a lot of time with him, that’s all.”

“Pfft.” Yugyeom rolls his eyes. “Hyung, it’s Bambam. I’ve known him since we were in diapers. Besides, he’s straight.” He huffs a laugh, still disbelieving. “Now if you’d said Mark, I’d understand.”

Jaebum whips his head around to glare at him. “Mark?”

“ _Hyung_ ,” Yugyeom laughs, because Jaebum knows Mark’s soulmate. He reaches out to draw Jaebum from his end of the couch into his arms. “You’re the only one for me, you know that.”

“Do I.”

Jaebum pretends to fight him off, for a few moments anyway before he sinks fully into the embrace. He nips at Yugyeom’s collarbone, a sharp reprimand, and Yugyeom bites back the _what about Youngjae_ on the tip of his tongue. It’s okay. Jealousy must mean he cares, right?

 

But the most memorable fight of all comes exactly one month after moving in together, despite it being over something so inane and inconsequential Yugyeom’s still not quite sure how it happened, let alone why it escalated the way it does.

They don’t even cook at home that often, with Yugyeom’s packed university and work schedule and Jaebum’s extra-curricular responsibilities at school, and when they do, it’s usually instant ramyeon or the occasional fried rice or stir fry.

Except breakfast, which Jaebum labors over every morning despite Yugyeom being used to going without. He’s given up trying to argue and just dutifully eats whatever is on the table.

“It’s the most important meal of the day,” Jaebum will lecture, to which Yugyeom will answer, “Yes mom,” while pretending he doesn’t enjoy being fussed over.

It happens often enough that Jinyoung, the one time he witnesses their exchange in action, curls his lip in disgust and pushes away from the table with a disgruntled, “I can’t,” he punctuates with a shake of his head, gesturing at the scene, “Be here.” He hasn’t had breakfast with them since, to Jackson’s unending amusement.

But he digresses. They don’t cook at home that often, saving it for special occasions, if then. While Jaebum knows the way around the kitchen, specifically set up to accommodate his color blindness, he really only has a few dishes in his repertoire. Yugyeom even less. Still, he wanted to do something nice for Jaebum, who’s been working extra hard lately, staying back at school to meet tight grading deadlines. It’s not his fault that Jaebum decides to come home early the very day he’s decided will be the day for the surprise, nor is he to blame for not knowing that frying the _kimchi_ before boiling it is a time-honored tradition in Ilsan. How is he supposed to? He’s never seen his mom do it. Granted, he’s never seen his mom make  _kimchi jjigae_ before, but still. He’s willing to bet she doesn’t, because what sort of sense does it make to fry something that’s going to be boiled to within an inch of its life anyway?

What happens is this. Yugyeom skips club. Buy the ingredients. Nearly takes his finger off when cutting the leeks. Has to call his mom midway through because it tastes blander than he expected, and takes her advice about adding _kimchi_ juice. Adds a liberal amount of flavored salt after tasting it again, because why the hell not. He’s also thinking that he should toss the entire thing and just order in before Jaebum gets home because it still doesn’t taste the way Jaebum makes it, but that’s when the man in question steps into the kitchen.

“Gyeom?”

Yugyeom jumps, nearly drops the spoon into the bubbling pot, yelps when his injured finger smacks against heated metal. It hurts, even with the haphazard bandaid barrier he slapped on earlier. He turns to see Jaebum, halfway through undoing his tie. There’s a pinched look around his eyes and Yugyeom aches to smooth the frown lines on his forehead away.

“Hyung! What are you doing here?”

Jaebum raises an unamused eyebrow. “I live here, remember? But what are you,” he breaks off as he surveys the kitchen, face darkening, and yes, it’s bad, but it looks worse than it actually is, Yugyeom will maintain. Despite what the overturned bag of flour on the counter indicates. “Kim Yugyeom.”

Crap. “I’ll clean everything up hyung I promise. Why don’t you go set the table, the _jjigae_ will be done in a sec and we can eat. Okay?”

Except Jaebum ignores that to elbow him out of the way and dip the ladle into the bubbling soup. Despite himself, Yugyeom waits anxiously for his verdict but he’s not expecting the sharp, “Don’t tell me you just boiled it.”

Yugyeom frowns, confused. “But that’s how you make stew.”

“Yes, but is that all you did? Put  _kimchi_ into the water and boil it.”

“I put pork and tofu in it. And leek.”

“I meant,” Jaebum lets out an explosive, irritated sigh. “Did you fry the _kimchi_ before boiling it?”

Yugyeom blinks. “No? Was I supposed to?”

Jaebum doesn’t answer, but the exasperated sigh speaks volumes. He takes another mouthful of soup, grimaces a little, then looks around the counter. Specifically at the rice cooker sitting at the far end. “You didn’t make rice?”

Double crap. Yugyeom knew he’d forgotten something. He heads to the fridge to check if—and nope, they don’t have anymore instant rice either, because they haven’t been to the grocery store in at least two weeks. He turns back to Jaebum, who levels him with a cutting look that makes him want to shrink into himself, but before he can open his mouth to apologize, wheedle, anything, Jaebum shakes his head.

“Forget it,” he says coolly, and isn’t it strange how two words can make one feel so small?

Drawing in a steadying breath, Yugyeom turns off the stove and heads to the front door, shoving his feet into waiting shoes, mindfully faced toward the right direction. Yugyeom’s pretty sure they hadn’t been earlier when he toed them off. He’ll never say it, but Jaebum is right, it’s much more convenient, especially when he needs to make a quick escape.

He takes the stairs, not wanting to wait for the elevator, going down the eleven flights two at a time. It gives the resentment time to fester, the anger hurt to grow, and by the time he’s reaches the ground floor, thighs burning, he’s worked himself up into a righteous indignation. Where does Jaebum get off, he seethes. He goes to all that effort for him and for what? To be dismissed like he’s a child that didn’t know better hurts. And yes, maybe he’s overreacting a little by running out, and Lord knows he knows Jaebum is stressed out, but all he wanted was to do something nice for someone he loves, and look what that got him.

Later, he’ll realize that he’s more upset at himself for his carelessness but right now, all he can think about is the tired look in Jaebum’s eyes and how very afraid he is of being the cause of it. He should have listened to his mom; what was he thinking moving in with someone he’s only dated for barely a year?

His teeth is chattering violently by the time he gets to the convenience store because aside from being the idiot who’s forgotten to cook the rice, he’s also left in such a huff he forgot his jacket in the middle of November. And his wallet, he realizes once he’s placed the packets of instant rice on the counter and reached into his empty pocket. Great.

Ducking his head in embarrassment, he’s about to make his excuses to the waiting cashier when a coat is draped over his shoulders, a familiar voice apologizing for the delay.

“We’ll take these too,” Jaebum says, dropping iodine wipes and bandages onto the counter. He taps his card against the reader, barely looking Yugyeom’s way when he tells him to put on his coat.

Not quite sure what to think, Yugyeom does as he says, thankful for the extra layer when they step out into the cold again. He’s still freezing from the ten minute walk over, the warmth in the convenience store only alleviating it a little, but it’s much less torturous now. At least on the outside. The resentment from earlier has burned itself down into a desolation that settles deep, chilling him from the inside out. He tugs the coat more tightly around himself and follows quietly after Jaebum, who hasn’t said anything else to him. The sound of evening traffic buzzes around him as he despairs.

He doesn’t realize that his steps have slowed until he hears an impatient _yah_ , and looks up to see Jaebum backtracking, irritation clear on his face. Yugyeom ducks his head but his stumbled apology is cut off before it even leaves his tongue by the shorter man unwinding his scarf to loop it around his neck. Jaebum is still frowning, but his movements are sure, fingers warm where they tangle with Yugyeom’s for a quick squeeze.

“Idiot.”

Yugyeom tightens his hold before Jaebum can let go. “Hyung,” he starts, despite not having thought through what he wants to say. Still, one can never go wrong with an apology, so he tries, again, and is foiled, yet again, by Jaebum, who beats him to it.

“I’m sorry.” He looks away, presses his lips together, then lifts his gaze back to meet Yugyeom’s. “For being an ass. It’s just, I’ve been,” he cuts himself off. “Whatever, it’s not an excuse. Just, I’m sorry.”

He does look contrite, but Yugyeom hates that it’s made the tightness around his eyes even more pronounced now, and just like that, the knot in his stomach loosens. He reaches out to pull Jaebum close, uncaring of the fact that they’re in the middle of the sidewalk. There’s no one around, not really, but still.

Jaebum seems to be of the same mind too, because he just winds his arms around Yugyeom’s waist and holds on.

The embrace doesn’t last quite long enough for Yugyeom but when Jaebum pulls away, there’s a lightness in his smile that hasn’t been there in a while. Yugyeom’s answering grin is shy, sheepish when Jaebum lays a kiss on his injured finger. The plastic bag in his hand rustles.

“Come on, let’s get home, I’m starving. I also want to get this cleaned up, I know you didn’t.” The look he follows that with is knowing, and Yugyeom shouldn’t even be surprised anymore that Jaebum can read him as well as he does. 

He turns to walk away again, but this time his hand stays in Yugyeom’s. Yugyeom never wants to let go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this... got away from me i literally only wanted to write 500 words wtf? the rest will be actual drabbles instead of word vomit i promise!! also the prompt was "take my jacket it's cold outside" which i have clearly interpreted VERY loosely
> 
> why did i decide on ten of these


	3. It's okay, I couldn't sleep anyway

Jaebum wakes up to the sound of typing and the sort of panic that usually assaults him on mornings when he’s accidentally slept in or when his five-minute power naps in the afternoons stretch to fifty, like now. Except it’s closer to two in the morning, by his estimate and the darkness surrounding him. He’s not sure how he got from entering his students’ grades at their study desk to the couch, comfortably wrapped in an afghan with a pillow under his head. 

He scrambles up, probably making a commotion as he does because Yugyeom is turning around from where he’s sitting at their work corner in the living room, amusement clear in his expression. The light from the desk lamp and the laptop screen paints him in a colorless halo, bright in the dimness of their apartment. Yugyeom must have turned off the lights when he came home.

Jaebum runs a tired hand over his face, encounters his glasses, and pulls it off with a yawn. The afghan slides off him onto the floor. “How long was I out?”

The chair scrapes against the wooden flooring they’ve just laid down two days ago. It was Yugyeom’s idea; Jaebum had wanted plush carpeting he could sink his toes into, but Yugyeom is adamant, because _this way you won’t stress yourself out over vacuuming the carpet, hyung_. Jaebum doesn’t miss the way he clearly specifies who’s the one doing the vacuuming, but he doesn’t mind, not really. Over the years, he’s learned that while Yugyeom may not like doing chores, he pulls his weight in other ways. Like now, for instance.

“I’m not sure, you were already asleep when I came back,” Yugyeom answers with a soft smile. The couch dips as he lowers himself onto it, pulling Jaebum close when he automatically curls into his side. “Cute little snores and all.”

Rolling his eyes, Jaebum slides a glance at the clock before turning it onto him. “I need to have a talk with Jinyoung about keeping you so late,” he complains. He doesn’t try to keep the pout off his face.

“It’s audit season hyung, late nights are normal.”

Jaebum just harrumphs. He knows that, but it doesn’t change the fact that Yugyeom is still ridiculously busy and stressed out for the past month or so. Has been since he officially started working for Jinyoung’s theater group as their accountant upon graduating. Jaebum doesn’t want to nag, but Yugyeom has definitely lost weight, and the bags under his eyes are horrendous.

“So are yours,” Yugyeom laughs, and Jaebum makes a face at the realization that he’s said that last bit out loud.

He lets himself cling onto Yugyeom for a while longer, fills his lungs with the familiar sweet scented warmth and lets it seep through the thin layer of clothing he’s wearing. Then reluctantly, he sighs and straightens. “Alright, I gotta finish up. Go to bed first, I’ll come soon.”

He quickly covers Yugyeom’s mouth with a palm before the younger can break into his favorite phrase of late, one he’s probably learned from Bambam, and stands. He starts to stretch but it’s cut short by Yugyeom pulling him down by the hand again so he lands in a heap half on top of him. Pushing himself up, he scowls down at his—well, still his boyfriend, for now. That might change soon.

“Fuck. Gyeom.”

“That’s what she said,” comes the cheeky reply he’s been trying to train him out of, and oh, Jaebum is torn between wanting to smack him or kiss him silly because he’s beautiful like this, all shit-eating grin and bright eyes. “Besides, it’s done. I literally just entered the last grade when you woke up.”

Jaebum blinks. “What?”

“It’s no big deal, you were already halfway through.”

A hand settles on the low of his back under his shirt. Jaebum feels the warmth all the way in his chest. It’s not exerting any pressure but he leans in, helpless. Yugyeom meets him halfway for the kiss, as always, and Jaebum loves him. So much.

Still. “You should have gone to bed,” he chides, pulling back. “I could have done it tomorrow.” He doesn’t need to be in until second period the next day. Yugyeom will have a very early start compared to him.

“It’s okay hyung, I wouldn’t be able to sleep if you’re not there anyway.”

It’s casual, the declaration, but Jaebum reads the easy honesty in it, bashful as it is and once again he marvels at how the universe saw fit to gift him Yugyeom. At the fact that he gets to keep him, love him. To be loved by him. He doesn’t know what he’s done to deserve this, can only hope he unknowingly does it again and again so he will keep getting something as good as Yugyeom in his life.

He can’t help himself. Leaning in to kiss him again, he promises himself he’ll do it tomorrow. Tomorrow he’ll take the ring out where it’s been hidden for months now. Hopefully, Yugyeom will say yes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was in the deep dark recesses of the internetz reading the creepiest erotica fanfiction and needed a fluff cleanse in addition to jesus in my life
> 
> i literally wrote this in 20 minutes i'm sorry for the suckage!! but alkdjhlfaksdj jaebum's gonna propose ;;; i cannot ;;; /fans self


	4. I'll wait

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you haven't read achromatic just know that before jaebum and yugyeom broke up for a bit. this is how they worked towards getting back together :)

The first time Jaebum, ever so carefully, says _please, gyeom, come home_ , Yugyeom tells him no.

It’s not even that he heard him wrong through the familiar building chords he hears, or that he actually considers saying anything but yes. It’s that he’s not ready to have his heart broken all over again, because that’s what’s going to happen for certain. Jaebum will find his soulmate eventually, a soulmate who will love him wholeheartedly, because who wouldn’t love him? And then Yugyeom will have to let him go again, and even though he loves Jaebum with every fiber of his being, he doesn’t love him enough to give him up.

So instead of yes, he says, “I’m sorry hyung,” steeling himself against the brief hurt that flickers over the beloved features, “I can’t.”

He can’t, not even when Jaebum gets that smile on his face, one that’s half regretful and understanding, not when it makes him want to hold him and never let go.

(He’ll have to eventually, it might as well be now.)

“I get it,” Jaebum is saying, and Yugyeom hates that self-deprecating laugh he follows it with and the way he almost curls into himself. “I wouldn’t want to either, if I were you.”

“No!” Yugyeom has to cut in. “It’s not that hyung, it’s not you.”

Jaebum’s smile still doesn’t reach his eyes. “It’s okay, Gyeom. I know I haven’t given you any reason to trust me again, much less love me.” Yugyeom’s argument is stilled by Jaebum’s hand on his. “But I’ll wait. I’ll wait and I’ll prove to you that I can do better. I’ll be better. Just—just give me a chance to.”

And with the way Jaebum’s fingers are gripping on to his, familiar and promising, how can Yugyeom refuse?

 

So begins what Bambam calls ‘Jaebum hyung’s plan of attack to woo you, idiot’ after Jaebum brings him a piping hot chicken bowl from Jilhal Bros for the third day in a row. Yugyeom seriously considers never telling his best friend anything ever again, because he says it in front of Jaebum, in response to Yugyeom’s, “Thanks hyung, but you really don’t have to, I can eat at the café later before my shift.”

Jaebum’s school isn’t anywhere near a Jilhal, which means he’s using most of his lunch hour to take a cab to the restaurant and then to Yugyeom’s campus, and then back to school. Yugyeom also suspects he’s skipping his own meals, so today he stops Jaebum when he’s about to leave, stuffing a couple of rice balls wrapped in cling film into his hands.

“It’s bulgogi, I know you hate the ones with mayo,” Yugyeom tells him when the older man makes a face at them. Mayo or not, rice balls are far from his favorite food but Yugyeom was running short of time that morning. “I put kimchi in them too. Just… just eat them okay?”

Bambam laughs at him later for running off, but it’s either that or having them both witness the way his face flames. _You’re not a teenage girl, Kim Yugyeom_ , he tells himself sternly. No matter how much it feels like his life is a shoujo manga right now.

The food is one thing, but then Jaebum starts turning up at the café every day, the way he did in the beginning, before everything. He doesn’t do much, just orders black coffee to power him through grading assessments. Yugyeom watches him surreptitiously from behind the counter, presses the carafe of decaf into Bambam’s hands when Jaebum indicates for a refill. He’s pretty sure Jaebum can’t tell the difference, since he still looks up occasionally to smile at him. On days when he doesn’t have much work to do, he switches his order to something sweet and a slice of strawberry shortcake. If Yugyeom didn’t know for a fact that Jackson regularly drags Jaebum to the gym, he would be concerned about the amount of sugar Jaebum sees fit to stuff himself with.

He stays until the end of Yugyeom’s shifts, before walking him to the train station. After the first time, when Yugyeom flat out told him no, he’s not accompanying him home because his current apartment is way out of the city, he’s stopped trying, but instead compromises by seeing him to the station. Yugyeom waits for him to bring up the fact that his (their) old apartment is literally ten minutes away by foot, but he never does. Yugyeom decides he’s relieved he doesn’t.

On the rare weekends when Yugyeom aren’t working, Jaebum will text him to see if he’s doing anything, if he wants to try out a highly-rated restaurant, or check out a newly opened store. At first, Yugyeom isn’t sure how he magically just knows when he doesn’t have a shift to cover, but eventually, he finds out that Mark has been sending him his schedule weeks in advance.

After turning him down a few times, Yugyeom eventually gives in. They visit tiny shacks by the beach for fresh spicy _jjukkumi_ , take the train to Incheon to hunt down what was declared ‘the best _bibim guksu_ ’ in the country. They get in a line thirty-deep, stays in it for close to two hours for the Pleasures flagship to open its doors while Yugyeom sips on the iced chocolate Jaebum buys him. One memorable Saturday, they make their way to Nami Island, only to have to duck into a restaurant to avoid the freak thunderstorm that hits right after they arrive. Yugyeom doesn’t think he’s laughed as hard as he does that day as they run in the rain, hand in hand on the tree-lined street, Jaebum’s broad back the only thing he sees.

They end up finding a motel to stay the night and wait out the storm, Jaebum buying them tacky tourist t-shirts to wear while their clothes dry in the weak air-conditioning. Yugyeom wakes up in the morning with a scratchy throat and a low fever but he thinks it’s worth it, because Jaebum is wrapped around him, familiar and warm, nose buried in the curve between shoulder and neck, breathing even and deep. Yugyeom numbers every breath, recommits the familiar constellation of moles on his skin to memory until Jaebum stirs, rolling away and yawning as he wakes. When Jaebum softly calls his name, Yugyeom quickly shuts his eyes and pretends to be asleep.

It’s only by sheer determination that he manages to not move a muscle when the gentlest kiss is pressed against his cheek, a breath of an exhale following Jaebum’s heartfelt, “I said I’ll wait, but...”

The song crescendos in Yugyeom’s ears, cutting off the rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> errrr we're taking a break from fluff today it seems
> 
> /sorry


	5. Call me when you get home

Bambam and Mark like to tease Yugyeom about being a hopeless romantic who falls in love with Jaebum at first sight.

“You practically went and _begged_ him to come into the cafe,” Bambam would say, scorn dripping from every syllable.

When Yugyeom protests, because he did not fall, not then, he’d only done it because it had been raining and didn’t Mark say they needed to increase customer footfall anyway, Mark would snort and retort that he didn’t see Yugyeom inviting anyone else in.

“Especially not Jinyoung,” he would say, and here is where Yugyeom and Bambam turn the tables upon their boss and his weird obsession with the handsome young actor.

 _“_ Like an overeager puppy wanting the attention of its favorite human,” they tell him.

Later, when Mark meets Hyesun and brings her into the fold, she too will tease him for being more attuned to the customer-turned-friend than his own soulmate. It’s completely good-natured, and Mark will blush as he stumbles through a half-baked explanation before he drags Hyesun into the back room to a chorus of ‘eww’s from the younger two and a victorious grin from her.

 

Jinyoung thinks it’s when he set them up, debuting his theory one night years later, long after their glasses are emptied.

“It must have been. Imagine: a dark theater, a love story, it’s just like in romcoms. You looked into each other’s eyes and that was _it_.” He snaps his fingers, a self-satisfied look on his face. “Jaebum hyung would never have asked you out if not for that—”

And here Jackson interrupts with a, “No babe, Yugyeom was the one who did the asking because hyung was too chicken—” before getting cut off by a pillow thrown into his face. He peels it off, laughing.

Yugyeom curls his arm more firmly around Jaebum’s waist, pulls him close. The older yields, pliant, even though he’s all fight when he responds, “I was going to, Yugyeom just beat me to it.”

Biting off a chuckle, Yugyeom agrees with Jaebum, which earns him a pleased grin directed his way and a triumphant _see_ , before continuing, “But he was taking too long and I was getting off my shift soon so I bit the bullet first in the end."

He delights in Jaebum’s betrayed look, even if the pinch of his thigh is hard enough to draw tears.

“I don’t know why I love you,” he grumbles, rubbing cool fingers over stinging skin.

And even though it’s been years since the first time Yugyeom’s heard it, even though Yugyeom now knows it to be immutable fact, it still makes his heart leap.

 

Later, when they’re getting ready for bed, Yugyeom asks, “Remember when we went to that restaurant in Incheon?”

Jaebum tugs the covers down, slides in and settles against the mound of pillows behind him. “The first time?”

Yugyeom nods, following suit, laying on his side to face Jaebum. “Yeah. Also the first time you told me you had a mark.” He lifts a hand to brush a thumb against his cheekbone. His engagement ring glints in the low light. “Anyway, I dropped you off at home after that, and it wasn’t very late, but do you remember what you said?”

Jaebum frowns. “No. What?”

“You told me to drive safely and let you know when I got home.”

Jaebum’s confusion is almost palpable, and Yugyeom bites back a grin. “And?”

“And you were the first person to ever say that to me. That’s when I knew you did care.”

Huffing, Jaebum shifts closer so his head is on Yugyeom’s pillow. “Of course I cared. Mark or no mark, I decided it would be you. Even then. Even if I wasn’t honest about it with myself.”

Yugyeom hums when Jaebum leans in to peck him on the lips, throws an arm and a leg over him. “I think that’s when I realized I cared too. When I decided it would be you.”

At his echoed confession, a soft smile spreads across Jaebum’s face, still wondrous after all these years, still with the tinge of surprise. Like he still thinks it’s too good to be true. Yugyeom shakes his head, fond.

“It’ll always be you, hyung.”

It’s a promise he intends to keep.


	6. I did the dishes

After years of living together, they have their morning routine down to a science.

Yugyeom always wakes first. He always does the instant the alarm goes off, and Jaebum, used to hitting the snooze button at least three times to get just a bit more shut eye, thought he’s a freak of nature when they first moved in together. Now, he just rolls with it. Still in a sleep daze, Yugyeom will reach over Jaebum, usually curled up around a pillow he hugs to his chest with his back to Yugyeom, to shut it off. Jaebum barely stirs when he does this, so Yugyeom will slump onto him to nose at his neck, his jaw, his cheek. It won’t take long for Jaebum to grunt and blink awake, grumpy, wordlessly huffing at him to stop, that he’s awake now.

He’s not, of course, he’ll doze right back off the instant Yugyeom hops into the shower. But by the time Yugyeom is done, Jaebum will be in the kitchen, sleepily getting ingredients together for breakfast. Towel still slung around his neck, Yugyeom will lean in for a kiss, smelling like warm water and toothpaste and shower gel and peonies. It takes everything Jaebum has to duck away, telling him to wait until after he’s brushed his teeth.

Breakfast is usually a combination of whatever is in the fridge and whatever he feels like making, with careful consideration of what Yugyeom can be trusted to do in the kitchen, is how he explains it to Jinyoung once. Yugyeom openly resents that, arguing that he can too be trusted to watch whatever it is that’s cooking. Sure, he’d let the stew boil over that one time, making a mess of the stove, and the eggs got slightly burnt by the time he remembered that he’s been on Instagram for too long. Only slightly, and it added a nice smokiness to them, he maintains.

Leaving Yugyeom with strict instructions, Jaebum goes to take his turn in the shower. He’s efficient about it, doesn’t linger much despite the warmth raining down on him. Shaving and brushing his teeth is done in a jiffy, and then he’s pulling on a shirt and carefully pressed slacks. Today, they’re respectively labeled _pink pinstripe_ and _charcoal gray_ by Yugyeom. He has no idea what either means, but from the color theory he’s studied by heart, figures will go well together. Grabbing a tie from the drawer ( _navy blue_ ), he heads back to the kitchen.

“You didn’t burn anything down, I’ve trained you well,” he teases.

Yugyeom glares as he places the steaming pot on the table. “Just for that you’re not getting any coffee today. I’m pouring it down the sink.”

It’s an empty threat, Jaebum knows, because Yugyeom happily accepts the kiss when Jaebum leans in. Jaebum intends it to be quick, but like always, it’ll turn deep and lingering. He slides his hands up to cradle Yugyeom’s neck, feels the fists Yugyeom clenches in the small of his back to avoid giving into the urge to run his fingers through Jaebum’s coiffed hair. It’s cute, his restraint. Jaebum kisses him harder.

They reluctantly separate once the microwave beeps, and sit down to eat. Yugyeom’s added much too little salt for Jaebum’s taste in the rice porridge as usual, but he dutifully eats it without complaining, heeding the younger’s tendency to nag about his unhealthy eating habits. He’s one to talk, with his addiction to fried finger food, even well into his twenties.

“I have a departmental meeting later in the evening,” he tells Yugyeom as they’re finishing up. “So I’ll be back around eight. You can have dinner first if you want.”

“How about I pick you up after work and we eat out? We can try that restaurant Bambam’s been raving about, go for drinks after.”

“Why, Kim Yugyeom, is this a date? Are you romancing me?”

Yugyeom’s answering snort is not quite drowned out by the scrape of his chair against the floor as he stands. Grabbing both their bowls, he carries them to the sink. “Is that a no? Okay, I’ll ask Bambam then.”

“Don’t you dare,” Jaebum laughs, poking him in the side where he knows Yugyeom is ticklish. He starts to roll his sleeves up to help with the dishes, but Yugyeom is already nudging him out of the way with a hip.

“You’ll get your shirt dirty. I’ll do them.”

“You sure? Don’t you have an early call today?”

“I can take it in the car,” he replies, and when Jaebum narrows his eyes, amends, “I’ll park at the side of the street and then take the call. Go, Im _sonsaengnim_. Go mould our country’s future.”

Jaebum hums into the kiss he gets, much too short for his liking. “More like play babysitter to twenty-five teenagers,” he says with a sigh, but they both know he loves his students unconditionally, even the most tiresome ones. “I’ll see you tonight,” he promises, then gives into the temptation to taste the smile that takes over Yugyeom’s face just one more time.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more like 'i'll do the dishes' bc i can never stick to a prompt 
> 
> this is so much fluff it's giving me hives /shudders
> 
> i never explained this + idk if you've noticed but jaebum doesn't + will never drive in this verse bc he's colorblind :)
> 
> <3


	7. I (braved the storm and) brought you an umbrella

Yugyeom loves the rain.

He loves how it comes down, in trickles and in sheets. The way it makes time itself slow, everything and everyone moving in a less harried pace. He loves how it cleanses everything it touches, the way the world feels, looks, _smells_ brand new after a storm.

He loves when he can watch it, curled up on the couch, coffee within easy reach. He would be in just the right position to see lightning dance across the sky, head pillowed on Jaebum’s lap with the older man’s fingers carding through his hair as they read. Sometimes their positions switch, Jaebum humming contentedly, rather like a cat purring as it’s petted. It’s easy to just lean down and kiss him like that, on the forehead, on the nose, on the lips, anywhere he can reach. Jaebum will complain about him disturbing his ‘literary pursuits’, but they both know it’s lip service.

He loves arguing with Jaebum about loving the rain, because Jaebum hates it with a vengeance. “Everything is wet and muggy and disgusting, Gyeom, I don’t know why you enjoy it so much,” he’ll complain as he pulls the blanket tighter around him. To which Yugyeom will snort and tell Jaebum he’s exactly like those stray cats behind their apartment complex he likes to feed.  

Yugyeom usually loves the rain, but times like now, when he’s about to get off his shift and the storm outside showing no signs of letting up, he questions why he ever thought it’s a good idea.

He sighs for what feels like the hundredth time that afternoon. Judging from the dirty look Bambam sends him from the opposite end of the counter, it probably is.

“Stop that, you’re scaring all the customers away.”

“No one’s come in for the past hour,” Yugyeom argues. Not since the rain started. In fact, there’s barely anyone out in the street. “Why does it have to rain now, of all times?”

“Why do you care? Isn’t Jaebum hyung still on that school trip in Busan?”

“Yeah, but he’s arriving in an hour, and I wanted to get the apartment ready. You know, food, flowers…”

“Are the food and flowers strategically placed on your pasty ass naked body?”

Yugyeom gasps, feigning hurt. “Pfft Bam, what do you take me for?” He lets the mock affront hang in the air between them for a few beats, then continues, “I’ll only be half naked, I’m not a whore.”

Deadpan, Bambam asks, “Which half?” The hissing of the coffee machine accompanies their laughter.

“But really though, you could make a run for it.”

“Yeah, maybe I should,” Yugyeom muses.

It’s not like their apartment is far, a mere fifteen minutes at a brisk pace. Sure, he fell really sick the last time he tried braving the storm and got Jaebum really angry in the process, but that’s nothing compared to having to wait to see him. It’s been a really long week. Sliding his phone from his back pocket, he thumbs the screen on to check the time. Less than half an hour until end of shift. If he begs Bambam really nicely, he might even let him skive off early.

Deciding to be as productive as he can in the next ten minutes so he’ll be in Bambam’s good books for once—Yugyeom is still salty about Mark making the other acting manager whenever he’s not around. He is too a responsible adult, it’s not his fault things like to go wrong when he’s around—he drags the tottering stack of paper cups towards him, and promptly has to pull an acrobatic save to keep them from falling onto the floor. The fumbling movements drown out the echoey clatter they make, but not Bambam’s derisive, “What the fuck, Gyeom,” or the familiar laughter, one he hasn’t heard in a week. It slides in between the familiar spring harmony.

“Hyung!”

Haphazardly tossing the cups onto the counter, he sprints out from behind and launches himself at Jaebum, who’s grinning bright and gummy. He loves him, so much. Uncaring of the droplets clinging onto Jaebum’s jacket, Yugyeom throws his arms around him, holding on tight. He buries his face in the crook between shoulder and neck, breathing in the familiar scent of stale cologne peppered by rain.

“You’re early,” he says when he releases Jaebum. Not fully, not yet. Some part of him feels like he’s not really there, like if he lets go, he’ll vanish. Jaebum seems to be of the same mind, if the fists clutching at his shirt are any indication.

“Traffic was surprisingly good so I actually got home a couple hours ago. I was debating between sleeping and coming here to surprise you, but then it started pouring, so,” Jaebum indicates the table next to the door. Their large, rainbow striped golf umbrella is stood against it. Yugyeom’s insides warm.

“Hyung,” he starts, before shaking his head and just reaching out to pull Jaebum into a quick, hard kiss. A customer whistles, but he’s a regular, plus Mark isn’t there to scold him for the PDA. And as for Bambam’s fake retching, well. He’s had lots of practice ignoring it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact: it was raining the first time they met :)


	8. I'll pick you up at the airport

Yugyeom hates flying.

It’s not a phobia, not in any way. He may wonder at how people seem to take hurtling through the atmosphere in a metal container at breakneck pace for granted, how they blithely put their lives in the hands of total strangers. Both rational considerations doused with a healthy bit of skepticism. He’s not  _ afraid _ of flying, not in the least. No matter what Bambam says.

Fear is far from his mind whenever he races to get off the plane first, standing before the vehicle comes to a complete stop, carry on retrieved and ready. He’s just efficient, and every other traveler can stand to learn something from him if they want to get anywhere in the next fifteen minutes—namely, the subway station.

Because it’s close to eleven and he’d really prefer to not have to take a cab all the way back to the city from the airport. It’s been a month heavy on socials, and his part time job at the café doesn’t pay all that well.

The plane finally grinds to a stop. It triggers everyone around him to stand and stretch, and he moves his way to the front, just behind the curtain separating the premium section from them commoners. It gets him a few dirty looks but he’s used to them. He’s efficient! And really needs to get off this plane, stat.

He’s noticing, and trying to quell, the tapping of his foot when the flight attendant finally announces their baggage carousel. The second the curtain is twitched open, Yugyeom strides through, backpack slung over one shoulder, nodding his response to the flight attendants’ goodbyes. Not for the first time, he thanks his parents for his longer than average legs as he power walks his way to Arrivals. From there, it’s a quick automated scan of his fingerprint to get processed by Immigration, and then he’s whisking past the baggage carousels and onto the green lane to exit the secure area, back to civilization and solid ground.

The large clock hanging from the ceiling reads seven minutes so he pumps up the speed. Past corporate chauffeurs, fangirls holding up welcoming banners, incomplete families with sleepy children. Down escalators and onto the long trek toward the platform until he sees the movie posters and CGV sign. Expertly dodging the group of tourists crowding the ticket machine, he slides his phone from his pocket. 

Ignoring the notification from Kakao saying he has unread texts, he checks the time. 22:59. Which technically should give him enough time to sprint onto the waiting train before it leaves, but it’s then that a woman with a huge suitcase gets stuck at the ticket gate, right in front of him. Heart sinking, he watches as the guard manning the station approaches them with an outstretched hand, the train pulling out of the station behind him.

“That was the last train. Buses to the city depart from Level 1.”

Yugyeom shakes his head as the  _ ahjumma  _ squawks. “Damn it,” he mutters. This is the worst.

Stepping away from the ticketing gates, he unlocks his phone and pulls up his last dialed numbers. The last message he sent was from four hours ago as he was boarding, telling him he’d text once he’s on the train so he can time his arrival at the restaurant they’re meeting at for supper. Jaebum is probably getting ready to leave the house by now, he calculates quickly. He should call him, tell him he’s missed the train. 

But before he can, his phone vibrates in his hand.  _ At arrivals hall. Where are you? _

Wait, Jaebum is here? Quickly, he texts back,  _ train station. missed last train. you’re here? _

He’s scrolling up to check if he’s missed out Jaebum saying he’ll pick him up when his phone vibrates in his hand. He swipes his thumb across the screen to answer.

“Hyung?” 

“You didn’t read my texts did you?” comes the reply. “Knew you definitely weren’t going to make the train so I came to pick you up. Hurry, Jackson’s parked in a no parking zone.” 

“Jackson hyung’s here? And I’m coming from the train station hyung, it’s gonna take a while.” 

“Oh.” And Yugyeom can almost see Jaebum shrugging. “Eh, I’ll just buy him a couple more drinks.” 

Laughing even as he speeds up, Yugyeom says, “Did you bribe him to drive?” 

“How else did you think I was gonna get here? Besides, he was the one who wanted to third wheel our supper.” 

“Yeah but it’s more than an hour’s drive!” Panting a little as he climbs up the last flight of escalators, he cranes his neck and scans the crowd. “I don’t see—oh.” 

Jaebum is standing underneath the clock in the middle of the hall, cap pulled on backwards, one hand in his pocket as he looks around the hall for Yugyeom. He doesn’t quite see him yet, but from where he is, Yugyeom can see his profile, see the evening stubble poking out of his skin. The sound of the airport melts away, easing the tension Yugyeom didn’t know he felt. God he’s missed him. 

Hanging up, Yugyeom jogs the couple yards or so separating them, and all but throws himself onto Jaebum’s back. 

“Hyung,” he draws out the syllable until Jaebum lets out a disgruntled sound. He’s always hated demonstrations of affection in public, no matter that barely anyone is paying attention to them. “Missed you hyung.” He breathes in the familiar scent of autumn air and spicy cologne. He’s only been gone four days but it felt like forever.  


Quickly, he pecks him on the cheek and lets go, dancing backward until he’s out of reach. Jaebum’s eyes are narrowed when he turns around, although they curve into a reluctant smile when he sees Yugyeom. 

“Me too.” Then he steps forward, reaching out to twine their hands together, and Yugyeom will deny the squeak he lets out till his dying day. “Come on, let’s go eat.” 

And honestly, if this is what he’s coming back to, flying isn’t quite so bad after all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i should have just done 5+1 why did i decide on 10 
> 
> err i don't quite remember the trek from arrivals to the ktx in incheon iirc there is a cgv on the way but idk forgive me if the details are wrong
> 
> anyway this is semi-based on a true story when i took a late flight and missed the last train into the city and was ready to camp out at the airport until the 1st train bc i am a cheapo cheapskate that will not pay off-meter midnight prices to get home (airport had wifi so i had netflix + there were 24 hour cafes + i had no keys to my house in kl) and after i texted the family gc my brother made the 2 hour drive to the airport to pick me up and then drove us home bc he thought i was insane to want to spend the night at the airport and idk that moved me a lot bc we're not close my brother and i... we were when we were children but then i've been at boarding school abroad since i was a teenager and we've irreparably drifted apart. IDK i just. that was memorable.
> 
> two more chapters!!


	9. I'll still be here when you're ready

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Picks up directly after chapter 4

In the week following Nami Island, Yugyeom avoids Jaebum.

It’s not as easy as he thought it would be but he manages by ignoring every invitation that pings into his phone, every text containing a meme or an Instagram link to a cute cat, every call that buzzes in like clockwork. He knows it’s not the mature way of handling things but he’s never claimed to be the mature one in the relationship anyway, and he’s not about to start now. He shies away from the inner voice that goes _what relationship_ much too sardonically.

Then the texts slow in frequency, finally petering out, and he has to start ignoring the way his heart pangs at the realization. A few days after they stop, Jackson texts to invite Yugyeom to _hang out, just like old times_ , to which Yugyeom politely replies he’s busy. It’s followed by Jinyoung’s message to stop running away, stop punishing Jaebum.

Yugyeom leaves him on _read_.

He’s not doing any of that, he reasons. He’s just taking the time to think things through. He’s due it, isn’t he? After all, he’s been hurt, hasn’t he? Sure he’s done his fair share of hurting too but Jaebum’s the one with only one foot in all this time, the way he’s still holding out for his soulmate. No matter what Jaebum says or promises, Yugyeom can never beat that. If it’s not now, it’s just going to happen later, and hurt ten times worse. He’s not punishing anyone, he’s protecting himself.

He ducks his head and resumes his furious wiping of the counter, ignoring the exasperated scoff from Bambam. It’s Saturday, he’s on the last legs of his shift, there hasn’t been any texts from Jaebum for nearly two weeks now, and all he wants is to go home, take a long shower, and then curl up with Netflix.

“You’re not being fair to the guy, man. He’s been committed to you all this time, haven’t he? It’s not like he’s even actively looking, the way you guys hole yourselves up at your apartment all the time.”

“You don’t understand, Bam, you found yours, you won’t understand—hey!” He frowns when his friend snatches the rag from his fingers and flings it toward his face. He catches it just in time. “The fuck.”

“You’re the one who doesn’t understand. Jaebum hyung has been trying so hard all this time, but you’re being such a blockhead about it I feel sorry for the guy. You love him, don’t you?”

Yugyeom juts his jaw out stubbornly, turning to wash his hands at the sink when the bell on the entrance tinkles. “Not enough to be a placeholder until he finds his soulmate,” he bites out, as he turns back to the till. The greeting he’s about to reel off dies when he sees the customers.

“Hyung.” Jaebum at least smiles at him, even if it contains none of the warmth Yugyeom is used to. Jackson’s glare though, makes him wish for a hole to open up at his feet. He clears his throat. “What can I get you?”

He rings up their orders—a large one of five iced americanos, a chai latte, and a hot chocolate to go, then steps sideways to where Bambam is putting the drinks together to help him put the finishing touches on and bag them up. He feels more than senses Jaebum moving to stand at the collection counter and looks up.

“Would you like whipped cream with your chocolate?”

“No thank you,” comes the polite reply. Yugyeom must have looked surprised, because Jaebum explains, “It’s not for me.”  

Yugyeom just barely refrains from asking why, when nothing else they ordered would satisfy Jaebum’s sweet tooth, telling himself it’s none of his business. He caps the lid and packs it into the paper bag before steeling himself to—he has no idea what to say but he can’t take another second of this awkward tension between them. Except Jaebum gets there first.

“How have you been?” he greets. A smile flickers around his lips but the corners of his eyes are tight. Yugyeom’s gut churns.

“Pretty good.”

“Good. That’s good.”

Jaebum looks away then, and between that and the respectful restraint in his voice, something in Yugyeom shatters. He loves Jaebum, so much and for what feels like forever now, that he doesn’t remember how it feels like to _not_ , and this strange new distance between them, something that hasn’t ever existed, is more painful than breaking up. He hates it, hates himself for causing it, hates that he doesn’t care if there’s a possibility of getting his heart broken all over again, if there’s a chance of being with Jaebum again.

He hates it.

Forcing his roiling emotions down, he starts packing the order. He’s running on autopilot, focusing nearly all his attention on keeping himself together, on keeping the deafening ringing in his ears at bay that he doesn’t notice that the lid on the chai latte isn’t properly sealed. He does register the pain when the hot tea splashes over his hands—no longer boiling because of the milk, thankfully, but still hot enough to make him hiss.

“Fuck,” he pushes the bag out of range of the spill. “ _Fuck_.”

Bambam clicks his tongue. “Cold water,” he instructs, shoving him toward the doors leading to the back.

Yugyeom hears him apologizing to Jackson and Jaebum, telling them it’ll just take a couple more minutes for him to fix a replacement as he makes his way to the staff bathroom. He’s just turning the tap all the way to cold when Jaebum comes to stand next to him. Before Yugyeom can rebuke him for coming into the staff area, Jaebum is grabbing his wrists and holding them firmly under the icy stream.

“You ought to be more careful.”

Yugyeom nods, meek. He doesn’t have the heart to tell him his fingers are pressing right into the scalded spots of his wrists. He doesn’t want Jaebum to let go. He figures he ought to thank him though, so he opens his mouth to do so, except what comes out instead is,

“I’m sorry.”

It’s barely a whisper but Jaebum hears it. He shrugs. “It’s no bother.”

A flash of irritation shoots through Yugyeom. “You know what I mean.”

Jaebum just shrugs again. When he doesn’t say anything more, Yugyeom decides to do it for him.

“You said you’ll wait.” It’s embarrassingly accusatory, but Yugyeom defiantly holds Jaebum’s gaze when it meets his, calm.

“I did, and I will, but I’m not gonna chase after you anymore, Yugyeom. It’s too—” Stopping himself mid-sentence, Jaebum shakes his head and takes a steadying breath. “I love you. I’ll always love you, it seems like. But I don’t know how to prove it to you, I don’t know what else I can do, Yugyeom. I just don’t.”

He steps back when Yugyeom pulls his wrists out of his grip in reflex, instinctually curling into himself at the defeat in Jaebum’s voice. When Jaebum’s eyes shutter, he feels the urge to cry.

“I need to get back to the school, Jackson’s waiting for me,” Jaebum tells him.

His voice is calm, belying none of the anguish from earlier. Except Yugyeom knows him, knows the pinch in between his eyes, knows the white-knuckled grip he’s holding against his thigh. Gathering his courage, he strides after Jaebum as he’s making his way back out to the café and grabs him by the wrist to stop him.

“Hyung, do you—” he starts. “Can I call you? Later, when I get off my shift. Or whenever you’re free.”

The few moments it takes for Jaebum to nod feels like millennia, but he does in the end, and that’s what counts.

“Anytime, Gyeom. Whenever you’re ready. I’ll be here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i basically started 10 ways bc i wanted to write this (and the airport) chapter. i definitely didn't do this justice but i'm sick of fiddling with this - i've written and rewritten this for months no joke. will edit this with a closer eye later when i can stomach looking at it again
> 
> one more chapter the end is in sight!!!


	10. You don't have to say anything

Jaebum brings her home on the weekend Yugyeom goes away with Bambam.

It’s a short three-day trip. Bambam declared he needed a getaway. Since Yugyeom has missed his best friend, he takes Friday off work and the weekend from home, promising to be back by Sunday afternoon. Jaebum isn’t entirely happy about it but he shrugs and tells Yugyeom he should go, fake enthusiasm turning real under Yugyeom’s lips and whispered gratitude. When Yugyeom pulls away, Jaebum lets dirty promise leak into his smile, murmurs that he’ll wait for him to come back. He’s inordinately smug when the younger’s breath hitches, eyes going dark.

He sends them off on Friday morning, then goes to school as is his normal routine. The day passes by in a flash and before he knows it, school is let out. It’s habit more than anything that has him heading toward the café, and he almost gets to the entrance before he realizes Yugyeom won’t be there. Hasn’t, in years, since he quit. Old habits really do die hard, he thinks as he turns around, intending to head home.

That’s when he sees her.

It’s almost electrifying when their eyes meet. Almost on autopilot, he goes up to her, hand extended despite his suddenly clammy palms. She feels the connection too, he knows, he sees it in her eyes. She’s vulnerable yet majestic, the most beautiful thing he’s seen in his life, so he does the only thing a weak, unprincipled man like him can. He seduces her with careful touches, right there outside the café, promises to love her. Somehow, it works.

She comes home with him when he asks because there was nowhere else they could go, and in between the loving and cuddling, Jaebum doesn’t neglect to feed them. They have to keep up their energy, after all. It’s also the few clear-headed moments he gets in which he debates telling Yugyeom, but before the twinge of guilt can twine around his gut and take root, she’s immediately there to distract him.

And distracting she is, because Friday quickly turns into Saturday, and then Sunday morning rolls around and Jaebum is panicking. To calm his nerves, he straightens out the house, cleans whatever he remember she’s touched, begs her to stay where she is even when he knows he should let her go.

He doesn’t want her to go.

Too soon, he hears the sound of their lock code being punched in, and then the door is pushing inward. Jaebum’s heartbeat crescendos. When Yugyeom steps in, he brings the smell of the ocean with him, saltiness mingling with sweet cherry blossoms. The greeting is half out of his mouth when he sees her, wrapped in a tight embrace in Jaebum’s arms. He freezes, bent at the waist.

“Surprise!” Jaebum tries, then rushes to tell him, “I can explain.”

Dropping his duffel onto the floor, Yugyeom straightens. He doesn’t take off his shoes.

With a fortifying breath, Jaebum starts to explain, but that’s when she leaps out of his arms onto the floor to pad across the living room. She makes a beeline for Yugyeom, circling his legs and sniffing him, before rubbing up against him in approval. Yugyeom just eyes her, making no move to pet her, even when she starts pawing at his pants with a plaintive mew.

“I saw her outside the café digging in the dumpster and I had to, Gyeom, I _had to_. She deserves better.”

Yugyeom’s reaction is a non-committal hum. With increasing trepidation, Jaebum continues, “I know we should talk about it but she deserves to have a home, doesn’t she? She’s good, too, hasn’t scratched anything, and she only goes in her litter box. I’ve thought it through, we can keep her in the bathroom during the day when we’re at work, or get a pet sitter, or, or…”

Damn it, he’s grasping at straws now. He really should have prepared for this, if he had, maybe Yugyeom wouldn’t be so uncharacteristically silent, like he’s trying to figure out the best way to tell him no without upsetting him.

“Or uh, I could have Jinyoung look after her, or bring her to the school! I’ll have to ask the school but the kids will love her, I—"

“Hyung.”

Jaebum snaps his mouth shut so hard, his teeth hurt. It’s loud too, and embarrassing, but it’s okay, because there’s a ghost of a smile on Yugyeom’s face. He makes his way to Jaebum, gingerly stepping around a cat determined to trip him by aggressively winding around his ankles. It’s the cutest thing Jaebum has seen him do so he moves too, to meet him halfway. Then he stops, because Yugyeom is holding out a hand to keep him from getting any closer. Jaebum awkwardly drops his outstretched arms to wrap around himself instead.

“Sorry, allergies,” Yugyeom clarifies. “You probably have cat hair on you.” Before Jaebum can panic, because hell, how did he _not know_ about this, he hurriedly assures, “It’s not too serious, I’ll just need to take some meds and we'll have to clean the place up properly. I’ll be fine. But hyung.”

Jaebum braces himself.

“Have you considered that she might not be a stray? Especially if you say she’s been litter-trained and is careful with furniture.”

Crestfallen, Jaebum shakes his head no. He’d been so enamored with her that he hadn’t considered that possibility at all.

“We should post a few flyers around the café, and bring her to the vet to see if she’s chipped. And then we can get her checked out if she really is a stray? I’m not entirely against keeping her, I just don’t want to get your hopes up.”

“Yeah okay.”

“Okay?”

“Okay.”

At least Yugyeom finally closes the distance between them—carefully—to peck him on the lips. Even if he quickly steps back, it’s something.

 

Yugyeom designs the flyer that night for Mark to put up around the café. Jaebum had taken the photo of her himself, when she sat by the window in a beam of sunlight. She looks regal and proud and so, so beautiful. It has been the wallpaper on his phone all weekend, which quickly gets changed when he comes out of the kitchen to tell Yugyeom that dinner is ready, only to see the younger crouched next to the sprawled-out cat, petting her with his sweater sleeve pulled over his hand. That night, long after Yugyeom has fallen asleep and cat sequestered in the bathroom in the hall, he finds himself wide awake, wondering if he can get away with switching the phone number on the flyers to a bogus one.

Jinyoung suggests to wait three days. Jackson agrees with him, even though he loves the cat already just from the pictures Jaebum shows him, he can tell. When Yugyeom just shrugs, Jaebum decides to give it a week. It’s excruciating, waiting all of the over hundred hours but he manages. Although, sometime in the middle Yugyeom takes to telling him to calm down whenever his phone buzzes with a notification because Jaebum takes to jumping for it whenever it happens. It gets trying, but they manage.

He manages, and they take her to the vet late in the afternoon on Tuesday. Jaebum is sitting in the waiting room, scrolling through Instagram mindlesly when Yugyeom turns up, cat in his uncovered arms.

“I took the meds, don’t worry,” he says before Jaebum gets half a word out, and they head to the counter together to get her registered.

It goes smoothly except for a slight hiccup when they were stumped when asked for her name. The receptionist was kind, however, nodding in understanding when Yugyeom tells her she’s a stray.

“I can give you the contact for a shelter, or you can leave her here and we’ll handle it,” she offers, and Jaebum nearly grabs Yugyeom’s hand to pull him out of the clinic.

Only nearly, because Yugyeom casually replies, “Oh no, we’re keeping her,” like it’s the most natural thing in the world. And the thing is, Jaebum knows he’s not 100% into the idea like he is, he’s seen the way he looks at her sometimes, contemplative, seen the way he jumps when she zips around the house after invisible prey, seen him sniffing, eyes red, on days when he’s being stubborn about his medicine.

 _I can’t keep taking it_ , he replies reasonably the one time Jaebum asks. Which is fair, and Jaebum tells him so, to try to wipe away the apologetic look on his face. The thing is, this has always been a temporary situation; as it is, he’s still not sure if it isn’t, they haven’t _talked_ about it, not really, but _we’re keeping her_ —

He grabs onto Yugyeom’s hand as they walk down the hallway to the vet’s office, tightness he hadn’t realized was in his chest unfurling like spring flowers when he feels the responding squeeze.

She’s pronounced a healthy three year old cat except for a little bit of a wheeze in her breath. Jaebum is alarmed, and diligently listens when the doctor teaches them how to administer the course of antivirals they’re set up with. Following that, Yugyeom asks questions about nutrition, which visibly pleases her. She gives them a guideline on what kinds of foods they can and cannot feed her, with a few brands of cat chow to check out. All in all, the visit goes uneventfully, and once they’ve paid for the consultation, medication, and brand new cat carrier, they’re back in the car and on the way home.

In the enclosed space, the tightness from earlier comes back in full force. It grows with each additional minute the drive takes, much longer than it should in peak hour traffic. Feeling like there is a shoe to be dropped, Jaebum fiddles with the radio, comments on the weather, and is halfway through telling him about his and Youngjae’s new project for the fall when Yugyeom, apropos of nothing, announces,

“Her eyes are blue.”

Jaebum blinks.

“I thought you should know. Anyway, I’ll go to the pet store tomorrow to pick up some food and maybe a cat tower, I saw one earlier in the waiting room, I think she’ll love it.”

“You,” Jaebum starts, but Yugyeom isn’t done.

“Oh and, Jackson hyung told me the school turned your request down so I asked the troupe director, who said it’s more than okay to bring her to the office. Even said it’s good for morale.” Chuckling, he pulls the car to a stop at a red light, turning to face Jaebum. “It’ll be like the chaos and distraction of ‘bring your child to work’ day except permanent but hey, gift horse, mouth. Right?”

The grin Yugyeom’s face is fond, and Jaebum is a weak, _weak_ man, which is the only explanation for him leaning over the gearshift to cover it with his own mouth, swallowing the younger’s surprised moan. Faced with no resistance, Jaebum pushes forward insistently, tilting his head back with a quick touch to his jaw. He desperately wants to _take_ but he’s conscious of where they are, so he pulls away before they can get interrupted by angry honking. The car lurches into drive and with a huff, Jaebum reaches through the carrier to pet the cat, aching for comfort from the inexplicable irritation. Nora. He’ll call her Nora.

He sounds it out, testing the way the syllables roll over his tongue. 

“It’s a good name.”

Jaebum turns to see him flushed, smiling, and absently licking his lips. The irritation swells, which is the only explanation for what comes out of his mouth next.

“You know you’re not getting out of this now, right? At least for the next ten to fifteen years, give or take. She’s not growing up in a single parent household.”

He thinks about the box, hidden carefully in a sock stuffed in another balled up pair wrapped up in a scarf and shoved into a corner of his underwear drawer. He thinks about his restaurant research, about the weekend he’d gone to Yugyeom’s parents’ house.

He thinks about how he has it all planned out and how he really shouldn’t be doing this right now, but when Yugyeom snorts, and says, “Is this how you’re asking?”, Jaebum can’t help the defiant _yes_ that escapes his mouth nor the grin that fails to be suppressed, because from the corner of his eye, he sees the same grin on Yugyeom’s face, threatening to split his face in half.

“That settles it then.” 

In her carrier, Nora purrs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and then they get married and live happily ever after! 
> 
> god this last chapter took forever to write, i knew i wanted to write the proposal but every version i wrote (like i rewrote this thing five actual times) didn't feel right. i tried to give them a staged blowout of a proposal, accidental ring findings, help from friends, but in the end i guess all they needed was nora. it's far from perfect and i'm still not quite happy with it, not to mention it merely embodies the spirit of "you don't have to say anything" more than actually using it as a prompt, but well. i love it all the same (how narcissistic lol).
> 
> anyway thank you every one who's been on this journey with me since achromatic, being patient and wonderful and indulging me as i played in this 'verse! i love love LOVE this 'verse to infinity so it means a lot to me that so many of you liked it too. thank you!! ♥


End file.
